I still think we could have been great. That image I had should’ve been a premonition - and in a sad way, a small part of me still believes it is. Every time I go past the shop, I still think of that day that the image of you that flashed across my mind out of nowhere - stepping out of a car to fetch the little one, a spitting image, from the back seat. A little princess. Ava. Sad. Yeah, I know. And then you spoke of a Rory. Was that a fluke or has the thought crossed your mind before? I fell in love with you, and I don’t know if you even deserve to know. Or if you will ever know.
I came up with Tumblr-ing this whole idea in the shower. I’ve been wanting to do something like this for a while - to record the steps along the way. It would’ve been more intense when I was actually drowning in it, but it would’ve been repetitive and lacking in any kind of reflection.
In other words, it would’ve been both depressing and boring as bat shit.
So what’s this all about… Well, it does say it in the title - how to fall out of love. In the last year or so, I have fallen in love - for the very first time - and I have had no choice but to force myself out of love. It took me a long time to even acknowledge it. Let’s call this character G.
And the other side of the coin is that I fell out with my best friend of ten years. In a big, big way. As in Ben Hur-style. As in, we no longer talk, and it’s been nearly a year since we last spoke. In my world, that’s massive. Our friendship was so that it fell like a break up when we fell out. I loved her like my sister. I looked up to her and seek her approval. This one is P.
All of this happened within the same time frame. My world changed at an incredible speed. I loved, lost, danced, cried at the same time, and it was mind-effing-blowing. And because that wasn’t enough, I also celebrated another happy-ending love story, was introduced at head-spinning rate to my cultural background, and changed jobs during this period.
In hindsight, I probably should have recorded the entire experience, but in all honesty, I had no energy left. So better late than never, right?
This is me. This is how to fall out of love.